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Hmmmmm??? Ummmmmm??? To Be Continued??? | |||||||||||||||||||||||
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YOUR MAMA JOKESYo Mama JokesIf you are offended by these jokes please go back now. Thank You. Yo mama's so black... - Yo mama's so black, she leaves fingerprints on charcoal. - Yo mama's so black, she went to night school, and was marked absent. - Yo mama's so black, she jumped in the ocean and people thought she was an oil spill. Yo mama's so hairy... - Yo mama's so hairy, they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower. - Yo mama's so hairy, Bigfoot took a picture of her. - Yo mama's so hairy, her armpits look like she has Don King in a head lock. - Yo mama's so hairy, she looks like a Chia pet with a sweater on. - Yo mama's so hairy, she has afros on her nipples. - Yo mama's so hairy, you almost died of rug burn at birth. - Yo mama's so hairy, she shaves with a weedwacker. - Yo mama's so hairy, she got a trim and lost 10 pounds. - Yo mama's so hairy, when she spreads her legs ,the first thing that comes to my mind is "We're going to Bush Gardens." Yo mama's so fat - Yo mama's so fat, her ass looks like two pigs fighting over a milk dud. - Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Ragu. - Yo mama's so fat, she wears a watch on each arm, one for each time zone. - Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a talking scale, and it said "GET THE FUCK OFF!!" - Yo mama's so fat, the shadow of her ass weighs 50 pounds - Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on my cat's tail, now I call him "Beaver". - Yo mama's so fat, when I tried to drive around her, I ran out of gas. - Yo mama's so fat, when I climbed on top of her, I burned my ass on the light bulb. - Yo mama's so fat, she's got more chins than a Chinese phone book. - Yo mama's so fat, when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips. - Yo mama's so fat, I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her good side. - Yo mama's so fat, I ran around her twice, and got lost. - Yo mama's so fat, instead of wearing Levis 501 jeans, she wears Levis 1002's. - Yo mama's so fat, at the zoo, elephants started throwing her peanuts. - Yo mama's so fat, she puts on lipstick with a paint roller. - Yo mama's so fat, she's got more rolls than a bakery. - Yo mama's so fat, she was floating in the ocean, and Spain claimed her as a new world. - Yo mama's so fat, she could sell shade. - Yo mama's so fat, that when God said "Let there be Light", he told her to move her fat ass out of the way. - Yo mama's so fat, when I finished having sex with her and tried to roll off, I was still on her. - Yo mama's so fat, when I have sex with her, I have to slap her ass and ride the wave in. - Yo mama's so fat, when she bends over, we go into daylight savings time. - Yo mama's so fat, the telephone company gave her two area codes. - Yo mama's so fat, when she backs up, she beeps. - Yo mama's so fat, when she takes a shower, her feet don't get wet. - Yo mama's so fat, she bumps into people when she's sitting down. - Yo mama's so fat, when your father mounts her, his ears pop. Yo mama's so ugly - Yo mama's so ugly, she's like Taco Bell. When people see her, they run for the border. - Yo mama's so ugly, it looks like her neck threw up. - Yo mama's so ugly, rice crispies won't even talk to her. - Yo mama's so ugly, she scares people even with the lights out. - Yo mama's so ugly, they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints. - Yo mama's so ugly, when your dad wants to have sex in the car, he tells her to get out. - Yo mama's so ugly, that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye. - Yo mama's so ugly, I took her to the zoo, guy at the door said "Thanks for bringing her back." - Yo mama's so ugly, I can fuck her in any position and its still doggy style. Yo mama's so stupid - Yo mama's so stupid, she asked you "What is the number for 911?" - Yo mama's so stupid, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept. - Yo mama's so stupid, she sold the car for gas money. - Yo mama's so stupid, that under "Education" on her job application, she put "Hooked on Phonics". - Yo mama's so stupid, she failed her blood test. - Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican phone company. - Yo mama's so stupid, she spent twenty minutes lookin' at an orange juice box because it said concentrate. - Yo mama's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to makeup her mind. - Yo mama's so stupid, she gave birth to you. - Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks fruit punch is a gay boxer. - Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks sexual battery is something in a dildo. - Yo mama's so stupid, she sent me a fax with a stamp on it. - Yo mama's so stupid, she was on the corner giving out potato chips yellin' "Free Lays!" - Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to throw a bird off a cliff. - Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to drown a fish. - Yo mama's so stupid, when the computer said "Press any key to continue", she couldn't find the 'Any' key. - Yo mama's so stupid, she wiped her ass before she took a shit. - Yo mama's so stupid, she went to Dr. Dre for a pap smear. - Yo mama's so stupid, when I was drowning and yelled for a life saver, she said "Cherry or grape?" - Yo mama's so stupid, she sold the house to pay the mortgage. Yo mama's like... - Yo mama's like a T.V., even a two-year-old could turn her on. - Yo mama's like a bowling ball. She's picked up, fingered, and then thrown in the gutter. - Yo mama's like a rifle...four cocks and she's loaded. - Yo mama's like a bubble gum machine...five cents a blow. - Yo mama's like Chinese food...sweet, sour, and cheap. - Yo mama's like a birthday cake, everybody gets a piece. - Yo mama's like Burger King... Your way, right away. - Yo mama's like a squirrel, she's always got some nuts in her mouth. - Yo mama's like 7-Eleven... open all night, hot to go, and for 89 cents you can get a slurpy. - Yo mama's like a toilet, fat, white, and smells like shit. - Yo mama's like the Bermuda Triangle, they both swallow a lot of seamen. - Yo mama's like a street lamp, you can find her turned on at night on any street corner. - Yo mama's like a telephone booth, open to the public, costs a quarter, and guys go in and out all day. - Yo mama's like a 747, she has a very large cockpit. - Yo mama's like a microwave, one button and she's hot. - Yo mama's like speakers, loud, ugly, lives in a box, and you can turn her up, down, on, and off. - Yo mama's like a mail box, open day and night. - Yo mama's like a bag of potato chips, "Free-To-Lay." - Yo mama's like a turtle, once she's on her back she's fucked. - Yo mama's like a paper towel, she picks up all kinds of slimy wet stuff. - Yo mama's like a bowling ball, you can fit three fingers in. - Yo mama's like a bowling ball, she always winds up in the gutter. - Yo mama's like cheap liquor, tastes like shit. - Yo mama's like an aircraft carrier, has a flat top, a big bottom, cruises up and down the coast, and picks up 100 sailors in every port. - Yo mama's like a bus, guys climb on and off her all day long. - Yo mama's like a Christmas tree, everybody hangs balls on her. - Yo mama's like a door knob, everybody gets a turn. - Yo mama's like Dominoes Pizza, something for nothing. - Yo mama's like Dominoes Pizza, one call does it all. - Yo mama's like Pizza Hut, if she isn't there in 30 minutes... it's free. - Yo mama's like Sprint, 10 cents a minute anywhere in the country. - Yo mama's like a carpenter's dream, flat as a board and easy to nail. - Yo mama's like a gas station... you gotta pay before you pump. - Yo mama's like a goalie: she changes her pads after three periods. - Yo mama's like a light switch, even a little kid can turn her on. - Yo mama's like a telephone, even a 3 year old can pick her up. - Yo mama's like a postage stamp, you lick her, stick her, then send her away. - Yo mama's like a dollar bill, she gets handled all across the country. - Yo mama's like a brick, dirty, flat on both sides, and always getting laid by Mexicans. - Yo mama's like a race car driver... she burns a lot of rubbers. - Yo mama's like a railroad track, she gets laid all over the country. - Yo mama's like a screen door, after a couple of bangs she loosens up. - Yo mama's like a shotgun, one cock and she blows. - Yo mama's like a Toyota, "OOooh what a feeling!" - Yo mama's like a vacuum cleaner... a real good suck. - Yo mama's like a vacuum cleaner... she sucks, blows, and then gets laid in the closet. - Yo mama's like an ice cream cone... everyone gets a lick. - Yo mama's like the Panama Canal, vessels full of seamen pass through her everyday. - Yo mama's like a refrigerator, everyone puts their meat in her. - Yo mama's like cake mix, 15 servings per package! - Yo mama's like an elevator, guys go up and down on her all day. - Yo mama's like Denny's... open 24 hours. - Yo mama's like McDonalds... Billions and Billions served. - Yo mama's like McDonalds... What you want is what you get. - Yo mama's like mustard, she spreads easy. - Yo mama's like the Pillsbury dough boy... everybody pokes her. - Yo mama's like lettuce, $1 a head. - Yo mama's like a hardware store, 25 cents a screw. Misc. - I saved yo mama's life today... I killed a shit-eating dog on the way over. - I could have been yo daddy but the monkey beat me up the stairs. - I could have been yo daddy, but the monkey in front of me in line didn't use a condom. - If my dog had a face as ugly as yo mama's, I'd shave his ass and make him walk backwards. - The difference between yo mama and a jumbo jet: not everyone's been on a jumbo jet. - The difference between yo mama and a bowling ball : You can only fit three fingers in a bowling ball. - The difference between Yo mama and a pretzel is that a pretzel doesn't have my nuts on it's chin. - I know yo mama's favorite day at work is "Take your son to work day." I bet you had fun testing condoms. - I'm gonna cut yo mama down so hard crack couldn't get her high. - You suck, yo sista' sucks, and Yo mama would suck too... If I had a nickel. - You suck... your mom does too but she charges. - I don't have a mama... My dad and I just use yours. - Tell yo mama to stop wearing different color lipstick, because I have a rainbow dick. - Why is it yo mama won't take my money? Does she just like sucking my dick? - Let's get off moms, 'cause I just got off yours. - Let's get off moms, 'cause she can't handle those five men on her now. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- GO BACK | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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